It is a time of fear in the face of freedom, a time for the widening of previous roads and the opening of new paths, a time of an emptying country and swelling cities, yet a time when these paths are mined by knowing algorithms of the all-seeing eye. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection.
 | Zygotes With Handguns Act Advances in Congress |
The price of oil is over 125 dollars per barrel, almost four times its price on George W. Bush’s Inauguration Day in 2001. People are being kicked out of their homes through foreclosure at a record-breaking rate. The cost of food is going through the roof.
So, what are Republicans in Congress doing to help Americans through these difficult times? They’re trying to give fertilized eggs legal rights.
Congressman Paul Broun from Georgia has introduced legislation, H.R. 4157, which would give a human egg, from the moment that a sperm penetrates its cell membrane, the full legal rights of a human being.
Those legal rights would include, I presume, the right to own a gun.
The second amendment to the Constitution says that there shall be no infringement of the right to bear arms, and while a fertilized egg does not yet have arms, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have the right to arms. Just because a zygote doesn’t have hands doesn’t mean it doesn’t have the right to own a handgun… if Paul Broun’s law is passed by Congress. The second amendment doesn’t have a clause to prohibit weapons in utero, after all. It doesn’t say “except for fertilized eggs, zygotes, embryos and fetuses”.
Of course, rights come with responsibilities. I say that if they’re going to be persons, then maybe those zygotes ought to pull their weight, and get jobs. That’s what I expect next from Paul Broun: The Embryo Labor Legalization Act.
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If a fertilized human egg and a fetus have full rights as human beings, then shouldn’t a pregnant woman be able to declare her unborn child as a dependent for IRS tax purposes? Of course, the catch here is that a dependent must have a SSN and you can’t get one without a birth certificate. If the pregnancy ends in a miscarriage (roughly one-third do) then how will the IRS determine the fact of a dependency? Will every miscarriage need to be documented with a death certificate? I’m sure there are numerous other legal ramifications that this bill hasn’t even begun to consider.
Comment by Mark — 5/12/2008 @ 8:51 am
Good point. If conservatives are going to be consistent, then they’ll have to issue conception certificates and record the little zygotes in the U.S. Census and hand out a child tax credit.
Comment by Jim — 5/12/2008 @ 10:26 am
If they’re in the Census, then congressional districts would have to be redrawn according to unborn population. No gestation without representation!
Comment by Juniper — 5/12/2008 @ 12:16 pm