In next year’s election for Governor of Idaho, there are many candidates who are pro-life, but there’s only one candidate who is Pro-Life. That’s his name: Marvin Pro-Life Richardson, and it will appear on the ballot that way.
Richardson, a strawberry farmer who lives outside of Boise, has stopped using his first name, and just asks to be called “Pro-Life” now – kind of like a transsexual, but with a fully ideological new sort of gender identity. Pro-Life Richardson is full of rambling epiphanies such as the following:
“Legislators are big chickens, they covet election so they refuse to deal with divisive issues. They allow appointed judges to make the difficult decisions thereby destroying constitutional jurisdiction. Therefore, a chief executive recognizing this trashing of separation of powers should rule on pre-born baby murder and this will cause the public to become educated regarding constitutional jurisdiction. We need to save our pre-born babies from murder, and we also need a constitutional crisis.”
Dear me, doesn’t Mr. Richardson understand that we’ve all been educated quite enough by anti-abortion activists? Well, there’s one person who Pro-Life doesn’t want to be educated very much, and that’s his wife, Kirsten. Kirsten is running for a seat on the Idaho State Senate, but Pro-Life admits that he was conflicted about his wife campaigning for the job, because the Idaho State Senate doesn’t meet in his house, which is the only place where Kirsten is allowed to go. Pro-Life explains,
“I, Pro-Life, asked my wife to run for office. She was very reluctant. We do not believe that women should be involved in things outside the home, unless there is a serious health, life, or liberty situation.”
You’ve probably figured out by now that Pro-Life Richardson is campaigning for Governor on the basis of a pro-life platform. But why? Republican Governor Butch Otter, who is running for re-election, is pro-life himself.
It turns out that Pro-Life talks about other issues beyond merely banning abortion. Pro-Life is also proposing policies such as the imprisonment of all homosexuals and anyone who has an extramarital affair.
The Idaho state government had better start building a bunch of new prisons to get ready, just in case.
