It takes a little bit of consideration before the idea behind endangered species condoms starts to make sense. I know that when I’m having sex, the last thing I’m thinking about is saving the planet. There’s only one habitat that’s on my mind at that moment, and the last thing I want is for it to remain pristine and untouched by human hands.
Still, there is a kind of logic to the campaign by the Center for Biological Diversity to hand out 100,000 free condoms by the end of Valentine’s Day. Many species of animals, plants and other living things are in danger of going extinct because our species has become so effective at reproducing itself.
We’re approaching a human population of 7 billion people on the Earth right now, and our species does not work well with others. If we could ease on back just a bit, we’d leave more room for non-human earthlings.
Wearing a condom is one way to make that possible. You see, overpopulation isn’t just a matter of deciding whether to have kids or not. It’s also a matter of deciding when to have kids. A short generation means more human children per year. Waiting a while slows down the rate of human replacement… and could even reverse it, in time. So, wearing a condom can help to hold back human encroachment into the few remaining areas of wilderness.
Endangered species condoms are a great idea, in general. I have a couple of teeth to pick with the campaign specifics, however. Big teeth. While a slogan like “Hump smarter. Save the snail darter,” is inoffensive when seen on a condom wrapper, other designs have a more sharp approach. I’m talking about the images of polar bears and jaguars, showing big, sharp teeth.
On a condom wrapper? Predators’ canines, ready to bite, just aren’t compatible with the feeling necessary to put on a condom. Ouch. Make it a little more sexy, and a little less carnivorous, and I’m on board.
