Would you like to own a piece of a genuine stargate, an artificial portal between worlds that defies the limitations of space and time we take for granted? Well, then you’ll need to invent a stargate. As far as we know, there never has been an actual stargate created, though there have been plenty of science fiction stories that feature them.
The lack of any actual stargates is not stopping scifi site IO9 from offering a piece of one as a prize. “Win An Actual Piece Of The Pegasus Stargate”, they offer, if you just leave a convincing comment describing why you ought to have the piece. “We’re giving away a piece of a real Stargate!”
What’s actual is that the piece is a piece. The Pegasus Stargate isn’t an actual stargate. It’s a prop from a defunct science fiction TV series. Besides, it’s just a piece of the stargate. It wouldn’t transport you to another world, even if it was a piece of a real stargate.
Of course, we here at Irregular Times don’t even have contacts at that distance from consequnce. We can’t get you a piece of the set of a canceled television series. I can, however, offer you a piece of a Jovian Post-Imperial Hyper-Cognitive Translator Array, being held for us by a kid named Jimmy who lives down the street from me. It looks suspiciously like a bunch of toilet paper tubes held together by duct tape. Alien civilizations have a funny way of defying expectations, don’t they?
