Over at the conservative spam-mail generating website Human Events, they’re hawking a new book called 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy by James Delingpole. The idea is that every day of this year you’ll read one of these ways to drive a liberal crazy, then carry it out.
It’s kind of a catchy concept, but I have two problems with Delingpole’s book. The first is that it doesn’t succeed on its own terms. Call me, um, crazy, but I think that each item in this book should actually be a way to drive a liberal crazy. Here’s Delingpole’s Way #1:
1. Write out on index cards, “I will annoy liberals every day.” Then put them in prominent places in your home, your car, and your office.
This tactic might possibly drive a liberal crazy if it involved putting a message on your car as a bumper sticker, on your jacket as a button or in your yard as a lawn sign. That way, a liberal might actually see the message and roll his or her eyes. Putting index cards in your own personal spaces declaring that “I will annoy liberals every day” only pumps up your internal sense of fervor. Why can’t Delingpole come up with some tactics to actually bother liberals?
This brings me to my second problem with 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy: it’s written by a conservative, which is perhaps why the author seems to have trouble figuring out ways to bug liberals. If you want to find out what tries the patience of a liberal, why not go straight to the source? Why not ask a liberal?
If you want to miff a liberal, I’m glad to help you out. On each of the 365 days of this year, I’m going to share a new instance of exactly what exasperates this liberal. By the end of the year, if you really want to keep exasperating this liberal, you’ll know how to do it. But I have to confess my hope: that after you read about some or all of these hundreds of methods of exasperating a liberal, you might be ready to relate to liberals and liberalism in a manner other than antagonism.
Let’s get started.
365 Ways to Exasperate a Liberal
1. Read the 6th Amendment Out Loud, then Ignore It.
The leadership of the House of Representatives has pledged to read the Constitution aloud when the 112th Congress convenes, which is all well and good. But following the Constitution is more important than reading it.
Article III, Section 2 of the Constitution guarantees a trial by Jury for all crimes:
The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.
And the 6th Amendment to the Constitution guarantees various rights in Jury trials:
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.
But House Republican and Armed Services Committee Chair Howard McKeon (he prefers to be called “Buck”) has thrown his support behind H.R. 4892, the House version of the Enemy Belligerent Interrogation, Detention, and Prosecution Act.. This bill would allow the military to round up and detain American citizens inside or outside the United States, without trial, if the Secretary of Defense and Attorney General designate that American an enemy of the state. The person would be detained indefinitely, without trial, and would not be informed of their constitutional rights.
While McKeon participates in the public reading of the Constitution and wins public relations points for urging others to read it he is pushing legislation that runs roughshod over two of its clauses. He’s joined in this effort by 9 others in the Senate.
Is McKeon’s behavior exasperating? That’s an understatement.
Looks like the name of the book should be 365 Ways James Delingpole Is Cycling Deeper Into His Own Insanity
Yeah, the entire body of politicians from Obama to the whips are ignoring the Constitution every day in foreign and domestic policy, with regard to the economy and things financial (where does it say in the Constitution that the citizenry has to bail out the bankers and Wall Street who made bad bets?, & it can be argued that the Federal Reserve is unconstitutional), and with regard to health care (the government is SUPPOSED TO CARE about its citizens with regard to public health; legislation by actual Congresspeople (as opposed to lobbyists who only represent special – read “monied” – interests), and the judicial system is a bad joke (someone should be prosecuting Bush/Cheney for their lying and cooking intel to start the Iraq War, the entire homeland security debacle, and all the fraud going on from D.C. to Wall Street and in all the TBTF banks.
That right there is enough to exasperate “liberals” (and any of the rest of us citizens regardless of political leanings) who aren’t brain dead. i’m afraid exasperation has dried up long ago and been replaced with apathy – since no one is doing anything about any of this (“doing” being measured by actions that have a real effect to change this “let’s all run off the cliff together” mentality that seems to be the basis of our politicians’ actions lately).