Photograph Proves Bill Ayers Attends Obama Cabinet Meetings

F. G. Fitzer 5/26/2012
[2] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/billayerscabinet-300x203.jpg

This photograph shows Bill Ayers attending a White House Cabinet meeting, sharing a good laugh with Comrade Presidente himself!

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Posted in Barack Obama, Irregular Ideas | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Krampus Challenges Vlad The Impaler To Presidential Fiend Primary Election

F. G. Fitzer 5/24/2012
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http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/krampusforpresorelse.jpg

Vlad the Impaler contests his legal status as a non-human fiend, given that, although he is now an undead creature of the night, he was born a human being. Both Krampus and Vlad the Impaler are expected to appear in the 6th Circuit Court tomorrow, where the legal status of Vlad the Impaler will be decided.

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Vlad The Impaler for President 2012

F. G. Fitzer 5/23/2012
[5] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/vladtheimpalerforpresident.jpg

If we’re doing the Homeland Security thing, we need a leader who will do whatever it takes to protect the homeland – including lining up America’s impaled enemies on stakes outside the White House, and drinking the warm blood of terrorists as it surges out of their ripped necks.

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Posted in Election 2012, Homeland Insecurity | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Photograph Of Obama Posing As Metrosexual Abraham Lincoln Exposed!

F. G. Fitzer 5/18/2012
[5] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/metrosexuallincoln.jpg

Late in the day, the photograph emerged, the one you see here. It clearly shows Barack Obama posing as a metrosexual Abraham Lincoln. Suddenly, the debate shifted. People started demanding to know how many other people in the Obama White House think that they are metrosexual Abraham Lincolns.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Election 2012, Irregular Ideas | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

NASA Planning To Drop Giant Water Ball On American Midwest

F. G. Fitzer 5/16/2012
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http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/waterball1.jpg

Why is NASA devoting its resources to planning for the sucking of all the water on our planet into a giant ball that will go rolling across the Great Plains into St. Louis? It’s almost as if all those government scientists know something that we don’t know.

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The Real Hollister Brand Story

F. G. Fitzer 5/5/2012
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http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/hollister-300x262.jpg

The official story of the Hollister Co. clothing brand is bunk. A more established Hollister brand is established with colostomy bags, urinary incontinence, and games of golf in Georgia with old politicians and corporate lobbyists.

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Posted in Ethics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bingaman Floats Bill To Lift Big Helium

F. G. Fitzer 4/28/2012
[1] comment
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/bingamanhelium.jpg

The idea of the political influence of Big Helium sounds like a joke, but actually, the helium industry is tied to one of the most powerful – and profitable – industries in the nation: The oil and gas industry.

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Posted in Legislation | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Who Are The Vampires Of The 2012 Presidential Campaign

F. G. Fitzer 4/25/2012
[1] comment
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vampireannromney-300x142.jpg

Besides Ann Romney, who is clearly queen of the night, how can we assign roles for the other characters from the 2012 campaign season?

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Posted in Election 2012, Fiction Experiments | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Hockey Is Violent? Stop The WordPresses!

F. G. Fitzer 4/22/2012
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CNN, the most trusted source in news that’s arranged to have itself broadcast in airports around the country, is leading tonight with the headline: Hockey Playoffs Turn Violent. Also in the news today: Springtime Becoming Warmer As Weeks Pass Presidential …

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Tuna Salmonella?

F. G. Fitzer 4/14/2012
[2] comments

The headlines today: “Tuna linked to salmonella outbreak in 20 states” “Tuna linked to salmonella outbreak” “Sushi tuna linked to salmonella in 20 states” Am I the only one who finds this fishy? How can tuna have salmonella? Shouldn’t they …

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Posted in Irregular Ideas | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Why Is Gingrich Super PAC Still Spending?

F. G. Fitzer 4/5/2012
[6] comments

Why would Sheldon Adelson and the Winning Our Future PAC keep spending money on Gingrich, when he now has virtually no chance of winning the Republican nomination? Take this poll to provide your explanation.

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Posted in Election 2012, Politics, Questions, Republicans | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Health Care Advice From The One Percent

F. G. Fitzer 4/1/2012
[0] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/patrickdempsey.jpg

Where’s that money I set aside to buy an extra house and land in case a family member has a health problem? Is it in my wallet? No. Is it on the bedside table? No. Is it in the kitchen next to the herbs and spices? No. Darn it, where could that money for an extra house and land be?

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Posted in Economy, Media | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Jelly Belly Elephant Droppings

F. G. Fitzer 3/29/2012
[2] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/jellybellydrops.jpg

Part of the profits from the sales of Jelly Belly candies go to pay off Republican politicians. Yuck. Who wants that kind of sour association in their mouths on Easter morning?

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Posted in Politics, Republicans | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Jason Buck Campaigns For A Tiny, Tiny Vision Of Life

F. G. Fitzer 3/19/2012
[2] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/lifejasonbuck.jpg

To address issues of “life, family, and marriage”, all that Republican congressional candidate Jason Buck could muster was a 39-word statement. He’s not exactly imaginative, is he? What matters would you want to see discussed within those categories?

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Posted in Election 2012, Politics, Questions | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Gingrich Is Too Smart For You To Comprehend

F. G. Fitzer 3/15/2012
[1] comment
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/newtgenius.jpg

How can anyone expect a soooper genius such Newt Gingrich to be able to express ideas so titanic in their scale that they would cause the spontaneous explosion of Americans’ skulls if they were to be transmitted in their pure form? It would be unethical!

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Posted in Election 2012, Politics, Republicans | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Evil Broccoli

F. G. Fitzer 3/9/2012
[4] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/evilbroccoli.jpg

Prepare yourself. The evil broccoli has awakened!

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Posted in Irregular Ideas, Shirts | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Reading the Auras of The Presidential Candidates

F. G. Fitzer 3/7/2012
[11] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/santorumaura.jpg

After a divine revelation, I have realized the power to see the auras of the 2012 Republican presidential candidates, magical fields of energy emanating from their bodies.

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Posted in Election 2012, Republicans | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Scientists Confirm Finding “Osiris Particle” Is Near, Or Not

F. G. Fitzer 3/7/2012
[6] comments
http://irregulartimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/osiris.jpg

Journalists have discovered that if they give the nickname of a god to a scientific subject that people don’t otherwise care about, their writing all of a sudden becomes relevant to readers and publishers.

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Posted in Media, Religion, Science | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments