Mostly, It’s A Pole

January 9th, 2013 | Posted by Rowan in Irregular Ideas - (0 Comments)

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American Triumphalism, July 5 2012.  An all-American paper hat with patriotic stars and stripes sits soaked and peeling in a gutter, the day after gaudy over-the-top triumphalist demonstrations on the Esplanade in Boston.  Taken at the corner of Massachusetts and Huntington Avenues at 11:00 AM on July 5 2012.

Republicans say that Americans must vote for Mitt Romney in order to save the U.S. of A. from socialism, but how many in the GOP have suspected that Romney himself may be a socialist?

The fact is that Mitt Romney has been caught on videotape, several times, reciting an oath of loyalty that was written by a well-known socialist! The pledge speaks of devotion to the government, which will be big enough to provide for the needs “of all”.

As Gerald Ford, going under the pseudonym of Thomas Jefferson, has taught us, “A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take everything you have.” I suppose that Mitt Romney will now be telling us that a Wall Street investment firm big enough to invest all the money you have is a Wall Street investment firm that is big enough to take away all the money you have. The pinko!

socialist oath in public schoolsThe traditional salute given with this socialist oath of loyalty, by the way, was identical to the Nazi salute. The photograph here shows real American children, with their hands stretched up, being indoctrinated to give the socialist oath… in public school, of course!

The socialist who wrote the oath was Francis Bellamy. The socialist oath is commonly known as the Pledge of Allegiance.

There are congressional primaries in six different states today, and these elections should all be taken very seriously… but that doesn’t mean the candidates should all be taken seriously. The doofus factor in this year’s congressional candidate is rather high.

Yet, not all doofuses are equally dooficious. The title of Prime Doofus of the June 2012 congressional primaries goes to Duane Sand, one of the Republican candidates for U.S. Senate in North Dakota. People who go to Sand’s campaign web site to find out more about his policy agenda will first be confronted with this image:

wrapped in a flag

Yes, that’s Duane Sand, literally wrapped in a U.S. flag.

What are we supposed to think, when we see this picture?

- Oooh, I’ve been waiting for so long for a politician who likes the flag! This is the candidate for me!
- Wow, Mr. Sand probably gets up every morning, and takes his flag to out into a field to greet the rising sun! What a patriot!
- Duane Sand probably doesn’t even realize that he’s standing there wrapped in a flag. It must be that he is so used to cuddling with Old Glory that he forgot to take his flag off for that picture!

Really, what kind of idiotic campaign aide agreed to snap this photograph? Did they think this would look natural, and not like a desperate appeal for attention?

Well, Mr. Sand, we wrote an article about you. We gave you attention. We said your name: Duane Sand. Could you please put the flag down, now?

When Barack Obama failed to wear a lapel pin during the 2008 presidential race, FOX News went ape over it:

Fox News graphic re: flag pin... Space Available 2008

The conservative blogosphere couldn’t stop talking about it for months. Flag pin, flag pin, flag pin, flag pin, flag pin.

So surely Michelle Malkin, Pamela Gellar, FOX News and the gang will be rolling out their front-page mockery of Mitt Romney’s patriotism any day now. I mean, just look at
Mitt Romney in West Virginia:

Mitt Romney in West Virginia 2012 -- NO FLAG LAPEL PIN!

Any day now… waiting for it…

The Christian Broadcasting Network recently asked Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich about his three marriages, and the many times he has cheated on his wives with other women. Gingrich explained that he was driven to commit acts of sexual infidelity by his intense passion
for the U.S. of A.

He responded to the question by saying, “There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate.”

The follow-up question that immediately pops into my mind is this: “Mr. Gingrich, have you cheated on your wife recently, and if not, why have you stopped loving America?”

A second question in my mind is how working “far too hard” leads a man to cheat on his wife. I could understand how too much work might lead a man to not have sex with his wife very much, but if Newt Gingrich was really working so hard, how did he find the time to set up sexual liaisons with women he wasn’t married to?

Gingrich is the “ideas man” of the Republican Party, we’re told, so I’m sure he won’t have trouble providing an explanation.

Boehner! USA! USA! USA?

November 3rd, 2010 | Posted by F. G. Fitzer in Election 2010 | Politics - (5 Comments)

The most surreal moment of the 2010 midterm congressional elections was when John Boehner made his speech of victory as the likely incoming Speaker of the House of Representatives.

The crowd chanted “USA! USA! USA!”

What did they think – that they were back in the 1980s, and the Soviet hockey team had been defeated?

Do these Republicans really think that Democrats are not Americans?

I am so excited.

I got a letter in the mail today, a letter containing a very special card and a very special message just for me:

George W. Bush Presidential center 2011 Charter Member 1100182341

The next time some conservative comes up to me and tells me I’m not a Real American, I’ll just pull this card out of my wallet and — BLAMMO! — instant deflection!