Tonight the first on-air presidential debate between aspirant Mitt Romney and current President Barack Obama will begin at 9 PM, broadcast on just about all the network news stations, moderated before by play-it-safe Jim Lehrer, and we are all prepared to watch a deep discussion learn something new enjoy a ritualized Kabuki dance.

Let’s be honest — the differences between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are pretty clear to those who’ve been paying attention (Cayman Islands bank accounts, size of Medicare cuts, distribution of tax cuts), and so are the similarities (promotion of war as an ongoing foreign policy tool, slashed civil liberties, protection for corporate interests). Mitt Romney has managed to campaign for months without specific policy proposals, so that chances of him getting specific tonight in Denver are essentially nil. Barack Obama has managed to alienate his left and campaign on the strength of not saying out loud that 47% of the American people are leeches. Given the state of his opponent, that’s a pretty considerable strength, so why mess with a lead by saying anything new? We can be sure neither will discuss any of the other presidential candidates on the ticket in a number of states, like Jill Stein and Gary Johnson.

What we’re left with in this first debate is an entertaining one-ring circus. Who knows — maybe Mitt Romney will insult another 20% of the populace, or come out with another new shade of makeup. Maybe Barack Obama will admit he was born in Uzbekistan or sigh to the tune of “Phantom of the Opera.” It could happen.

If we must watch (and you know how hard it is not to watch), let’s at least have some fun. Below are three printable Romney-Obama Debate Bingo cards filled with words and phrases with a varying likelihood of being propelled out of a candidate’s mouth tonight. You know the rules: five across, five down or five diagonally in a row and you win. Win what? If you’re the betting type, go Roman and add some bread to the circus. If you’d like to be comfortably numb, turn it into a drinking game, with a swig every time you hear a phrase or subject uttered on your card.

Obama-Romney Debate Bingo Card #1: Bain Capital, You Didn't Build That, God, Bottom Up, General Motors, 47%

Obama-Romney Debate Bingo Card #2: Faith, complaining about the questions, medicare, 9-11, flip flop, dead bin Laden, marriage, class warfare, job creators

Obama-Romney Debate BINGO Card #3: Libya, Cayman Islands, Civil Liberty, global warming, the 1%, tax returns, Romney Hood, are you better off than you were 4 years ago, supreme court

Obama-Romney Debate Bingo Card #5: Occupy, Anti-Islam Film, Ballot Access, Wall Street, Immigrant Rights, Founding Fathers, military spending, abortion, global warming, surveillance

And why let Irregular Times have all the fun drawing these babies up? Print this blank card and make your own bingo debate card with your own predictions:

Obama-Romney Debate Bingo Card #4: A Blank for you to fill in

Tonight the third Republican Presidential Debate of the 2012 Election pre-season takes place in Iowa, featuring Republican Party contenders Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman, Ron Paul, Tim Pawlenty, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum. The debate is sponsored by the pro-Republican media outlets FOX News and the Washington Examiner, alongside the Iowa Republican Party itself, and will be aired on foxnews.com starting at 9:00 PM.

We at Irregular Times will be taking notes but also having fun while we’re at it, playing a round of Republican Debate Bingo. We’ve posted a set of Republican Debate game cards below for your use: print them out and have as much of a blast as is possible while people are discussing Jesus. The most obvious political game to play with these cards is GOP Bingo: print out the five cards before the speech begins, pass them out to friends, then as you watch the debate, place a marker over a square when you hear the phrase in that square uttered. The first to get five in a row wins. (The Elephant is a Free Square.)

If you’re over 21 and nobody’s driving, you can use the cards in a drinking game: every time one of the Republican contenders makes a reference listed on your card, you’ve gotta take a swig. As in politics, the last person standing is the winner.

Republican Debate Bingo Card #1

Republican Debate Bingo Card #2

Republican Debate Bingo Card #3

Republican Debate Bingo Card #4

Blank GOP debate bingo card

The last bingo card is blank for you to fill in with your best guesses, you’ll see how good those guesses were tonight.

Tonight the first Republican Presidential Debate of the 2012 Election season will take place between GOP contenders Herman Cain, Gary Johnson, Ron Paul, Tim Pawlenty and Rick Santorum. The debate will be aired on the FOX News channel on TV. “Where can I watch the debate on the web,” you ask? Streamed at foxnews.com, of course, the source for all things Republican. The debate starts at 9 PM Eastern Time, and we are all prepared with pen and pencil to…

… take notes, yes, but have a good time, too. Whether you agree with these Republican contenders or not, you should be able to entertain yourself. Each of these five contenders is a bit of a long shot, making tonight’s debate a prime chance to grab some attention with an arresting turn of phrase or startling accusation. Elbow-jabbing efforts to grab attention also run a significant risk of embarrassment or inadvertent hilarity, making for fun all around.

To double the fun, why not turn the debate into a game? We’ve helped by drawing up Republican Debate game cards, which you can see below. One way you play with these cards is in a Bingo game: print out these five cards before the speech begins, meet up with friends, then watch the debate on TV or over the internet. Put a penny down on a square when a Republican contender uses the word or phrase written there. The first person to get five in a row wins. (And to get you started, each player gets to put a penny on the Elephant in the middle square if any Republican candidate at all shows up.)

Another way to use these cards is in a drinking game: get some alcoholic drinks together with your friends (or some juice if you’re a kid), and hand out those cards. Every time one of the Republican candidates makes a reference listed on your card, you’ve gotta take a drink. The last person to throw up, pass out, or have to take a whizz is the winner.

Republican Presidential Candidate Debate Card #1 for May 5, 2011
Republican Presidential Candidate Debate Card #2 for May 5, 2011
Republican Presidential Candidate Debate Card #3 for May 5, 2011
Republican Presidential Candidate Debate Card #4 for May 5, 2011
Republican Presidential Candidate Debate Card #5 for May 5, 2011

We’ve also included a blank bingo card for you to fill in if you like. Write down your own careworn or innovative GOP phrases you think candidates will deploy in the debate tonight, and see how good your guesses turn out to be.