The Inscrutable King George

The following irregular verse was recently found scribbled on a cocktail napkin on the sidewalk outside of the office of President Bush's press secretary. Speculation abounds: does it reveal the key behind the President's apparently irrational domestic policies? Is it an encoded key to his superficially non-existant foreign policy? Is it a prayer from the President himself, asking for guidance in a job he obviously can't handle?

We've got the note here first, in an internet exclusive. Take a look at the crytic words and try to figure out the Bush Presidency for yourself.

A burning Bush,
his selection,
a selection of a Church State,
the vast landscape of our nation under the boot of God.
The Bible King,
cutting up with a net of preachers,
a character education in itself.
Driving drunk through an obstacle course of easy answers,
returning honor and dignity to the White House
with a politics of blind faith and fuzzy math.
Jesus is his secretary of political philosophy.
Irregular times,
when oil drilling is fund raising,
charity is a bribe to pray,
and an ozone hole is the presidential library.
Remaining silent,
a vote for unconditional surrender.

Whew! Figuring out the garbled words of our President is mighty exhausting, almost as tiring as trying to understand how taking money away from public schools is going to make them better. Why, if that kind of strategy was effective, bosses would pay their employees less to encourage them to work harder! Well, I guess our little minds just can't understand the complex thoughts of President George Jr. Sigh.

For more irregular thoughts on the guy in the Office Oval, visit On The Merits



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