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Serenading Condoleeza
America pleads: Won't you at least talk to me?
Condoleeza, oh Condoleeza!
Please be nice, Dr. Rice.
We're not asking you for your hand in marriage.
We don't want dinner, a movie, or even a working lunch.
We're just begging you to talk to us,
to open up to us and to swear
to tell the truth, and nothing but that.
What is it that you're trying to hide?
Condoleeza, oh Condoleeza!

Condoleeza Rice is George W. Bush's National Security Advisor, but she seems to be feeling very insecure lately. She's been asked, very kindly, to provide testimony under oath before the special commission that is studying the events that led up to the attacks of September 11, 2001.

After prolonged begging from the commission, and from the American public, Rice has finally agreed to talk to the commission. However, she refuses to take a simple oath to tell the truth to the commission. She also refuses to allow her appearance to be made public in the way that Richard Clarke and officials from the Clinton Administration have. She wants what she says to remain secret.

Not surprisingly, Condoleeza Rice's attempts to evade telling the truth have made American voters extremely suspicious. We ask ourselves: Why is she so afraid of swearing to tell the truth about Bush's anti-terrorism plans in front of the American people? So far, neither Rice nor George W. Bush are talking, but we do have some pretty good clues.

Condoleeza Rice has a very long history of telling lies to cover up George W. Bush's mistakes. The Center for American Progress has put together the following list of Rice's lies:

Condoleeza Rice's lie about the attacks of September 11, 2001:

"I don't think anybody could have predicted that they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile." (This lie was told by Condoleeza Rice to the American people on May 16, 2002.)

The truth about Condoleeza Rice's lie:

George W. Bush himself was given a one-and-a-half page briefing on August 6, 2001. That briefing informed him that Osama Bin Laden's organization was capable of using a hijacked American airplane to conduct a major strike against targets within the United States. Furthermore, a month earlier, the Bush Administration was informed that terrorists had concocted plans to use airplanes as missiles. The truth is that experts did predict that terrorists would use hijacked airplanes as missiles, and those experts told George W. Bush about the threat. George W. Bush sat around and did nothing about it.

Condoleeza Rice's lie used to cover for her earlier lie about the attacks of September 11, 2001:

When the Bush Administration was confronted with evidence that Condoleeza Rice had lied, and that George W. Bush had received a briefing warning of terrorist plans to use hijacked airplanes as missiles against American targets, Condoleeza Rice said that Bush got the briefing because he had been so concerned about the elevated terrorist threat levels during the summer of 2001. (This lie was told by Condoleeza Rice to the American people on March 25, 2004.)

The truth about Condoleeza Rice's lie about her lie:

The Central Intelligence Agency has revealed that the terrorist briefing was in no way solicited by George W. Bush. Instead, the Central Intelligence Agency created the brief without any expression of interest from Bush because they thought that the matter was so critical that the President needed to be aware of the terrorist plans without further delay. The truth is that, in spite of the elevated terrorist threat levels just before September 11, George W. Bush did not bother to ask the CIA to be briefed about the methods Osama Bin Laden could use to kill Americans. Bush was on vacation on his dude ranch that month.

Another lie from Condoleeza Rice about Bush's preparations for terrorist attacks:

Embarrassed by reports of Bush's lack of preparation for attacks by Osama Bin Laden, Condoleeza Rice said, "In June and July when the threat spikes were so high we were at battle stations." (This lie was told to the American people by Condoleeza Rice on March 22, 2004)

The truth about this lie from Condoleeza Rice:

When the Clinton Administration got information about high threat levels for terrorist attacks, Bill Clinton ordered his officials to go to battle stations. Bush's anti-terrorism chief Richard Clarke has revealed that George W. Bush never ordered anyone to go to battle stations, even though the reported threat in the weeks before September 11, 2001 was much higher than anything ever reported during the Clinton Administration. Furthermore, George W. Bush ordered that a program to monitor Al Quaida suspects within the United States be discontinued. The truth is that Bush not only failed to order anti-terrorism officials to battle stations, he lowered America's protections against terrorism just as the terrorist threat was reaching record levels.

Still another lie from Condoleeza Rice about September 11:

"Our [pre-9/11 NSPD] plan called for military options to attack al Qaeda and Taliban leadership, ground forces and other targets, taking the fight to the enemy where he lived." (Condoleeza Rice told the American people this lie on March 22, 2004)

The truth about this other lie from Condoleeza Rice:

The commission studying the context of the September 11 attacks found that the NSPD plan referred to by Condoleeza Rice in fact had no military component. Commission member Gorelick has stated, "There is nothing in the NSPD that came out that we could find that had an invasion plan, a military plan." George W. Bush's own Deputy Secretary of State, Richard Armitage, admitted to the commission that Condoleeza Rice's claim was completely inaccurate. When Armitage was asked, "Is it true, as Dr. Rice said, 'Our plan called for military options to attack Al Qaida and Taliban leadership'?", Armitage replied "No." The truth is that Condoleeza Rice knew that what she was saying was false. She just made up a claim in order to cover up the failure of George W. Bush to take adequate steps to protect America before September 11, 2001.

Condoleeza, we thought we knew you.
We heard you had integrity
and decency to speak your mind,
but now we find
you've double crossed us.
Please won't you fess up
swear your oath to us
and tell the truth for once?
Make us believe again
or leave us alone
to find someone who's true.
Go run off with that man
your boss, that Bush,
and lie around with him
on the road back to that dude ranch
built for two too lying liars
and the lawyers who lie for them.

Go truth tripping through the Ribald Reign of King George the Second
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