IRREGULAR TIMESRepublican Party Platform Plank #13: Take Away Americans' Right to Have Sex in Private

Have you ever had sex with someone and not told anyone else about it? Have you ever had sex without being married? Have you ever had sex while using a contraceptive? Have you ever had oral sex? Have you ever had sex with someone of your same gender?

If your answer to any of these questions is "yes", then the Republican morality police are coming after you. I don't mean this as a play on words. The Republican party, as a matter of its policy objectives, seems intent upon making these kinds of sexual activities illegal, so that the people who have sex of these kinds can be thrown in jail or prison, made to pay fines, or perform unpaid community service.

You might have thought that the Republicans would have learned their lesson when the American people turned on them after the Republicans impeached the American President for getting a blow job. Sadly, the Republicans are getting older but not any wiser. Now, the Republican Party is coming out in favor of laws that make it illegal for ordinary citizens to have sex in ways that have not given the official Republican stamp of approval.

Thinking of trying out a new position with your husband tonight? You had better check it with Republican Senator Rick Santorum first. This GOP Senator has appointed himself the regulator of Americans' sexual habits, a magistrate of love who will have the power to lock people up for making love in a manner of their own choosing.

Think this description is an exaggeration? Listen to these words straight from Senator Santorum's mouth:

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."

Yes, you're reading that correctly. Republican Senator Rick Santorum is, in this statement, comparing the right to have "consensual sex within your home" with the right to commit incest. The Senator is suggesting that the Supreme Court ought to rule that adult Americans do not have the right to engage in acts of consexual sex within their own homes!

Specifically, the Senator was commenting on a case concerning a Texas law before the Supreme Court in which the Court is being asked to rule whether Americans have a right to privacy which prevents the government from outlawing consensual sex behind closed doors. Senator Santorum confirmed this as he explained in a later statement that, "my comments were specific to the right to privacy". What it boils down to is this: A few lawyers from Texas, Senator Santorum and the national Republican Party are joining forces to make a stand in opposition to the right of Americans to have sex in private.

That's right - the whole national Republican Party is standing against the right for you to have sex in private without the government getting in the way. Lest you think that Senator Rick "Sex Censor" Santorum is off on some kind individual crusade against the right to consexual sex all on his own, let me point out that Santorum is none other than the Chairman of the Senate Republican Conference. That's the number three position in the leadership of the Republican Party. Far from being a GOP outsider, Senator Santorum is at the center of the Party. He's one of the few people that are given to power to determine what the policies of the Republican Party are. When Senator Santorum makes statements in support of making "consensual sex within your home" illegal, he doesn't just speak for himself. He speaks for the national Republican Party.

In further evidence of the national Republican Party's desire to make consensual sex illegal, there is not one single Republican leader on the national scene who has opposed Senator Santorum's statements. Senator Santorum himself has refused to apologize for his comments. Even George W. Bush has declined to rebuke Santorum, or even distance himself from the idea of arresting people for having consensual sex. The clear conclusion is that President Bush favors a policy of making sex between consenting adults a crime.

On the other hand, the national Democratic party is making a principled stand against the Republican Party's efforts to outlaw sex. The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee has called on Senator Santorum to resign from his position as the head of the Senate Republican Conference in order to show that the Republican Party is not interested in making consensual sex a crime. Senator Santorum has refused to step down, and the Republican Party is supporting him. Republican Senator Arlen Specter, Santorum's partner Senator from Pennsylvania, also has given quick support to Santorum's rallying cry against the right to sex in private.

The obvious irony is that Republicans claim that they stand against big government. Republican politicians will vigorously defend, for example, the right of Americans to gather huge caches of military-style machine guns of the kind used by the sniper in Washington D.C. last year. They will angrily defend the right of huge corporations to dump pollutants in our nation's rivers and streams without government regulation. However, when it comes to the basic ability of Americans to have sex in private without police or other government agents checking up on them to make sure that they're having sex the right way, the Republicans reverse course and say that there ought to be laws enabling the government to tell people what to do in their bedrooms. To me, when the government is given the right to get in bed with me and my wife and arrest us if we don't follow its guidelines, there's no better example of big government abuse.

Don't we have enough real crime going on out there for our police to be working on? Why, as George W. Bush's administration is cutting funds for policing programs across the country and refusing to help states pay for their own law enforcement needs, is the Republican Party promoting laws that would convert our neighborhood police into sexual snooping squads?

Supporting laws that outlaw consensual sex is just another example of the way that the Republican Party has lost touch with ordinary Americans. The arrogant, big government attitude of politicians like Senator Santorum may appeal to the leaders of the Republican Party, but it sure doesn't fit with what most Americans believe. We all assume that it's our own right to decide when we're going to have sex, and where and how we're going to do it. Unfortunately, these days, a vote for the Republican Party is a vote to bring the government into every American's bedroom.

This November, Americans need to consider: Is that really the kind of vote we want to cast?

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