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Apple Watch = 6G iPod Nano, Minus Function, Plus $275

A company whose name rhymes with “Schmapple” would like you to forget that the much less-expensive iPod nano worked as a watch by itself years ago. You have to own another Apple product, costing another few hundred dollars, before you have the privilege of spending another $350 on the Apple Watch.

Marketing genius wins […]

7 Reasons iWatch the Apple Watch and iShrug

I won’t be rushing out to buy an Apple Watch, and here are the seven reasons why… […]

Apple Forces OS Mavericks Out Of Sync With iOS 8 Update

The release of iOS 8 and the release of OS Yosemite are a month out of sync with each other. Apparently, no one at Apple, the company that is supposed to specialize in elegant design, considered the implications of this gap for the user experience. […]

Where Is Bubba Nation?

Bubba Nation is a subsidiary of the autocratic oppression of workers in sweatshops in China. […]

Draft Version Of Apple Earth Day Press Release

Not for release: Plausibility Committee, please review.

Tomorrow is Earth Day, a day when corporations around the world pretend to care about panda bears, the climate, and yoga. This year, we at Apple are aiming higher. In the spirit of transparency, we are going to admit to you that, although we know that dealing […]

Successful People Teach Us How To Be Creative

The first thing you do is get an espresso machine that costs over three thousand dollars and hire a special technician to fix the machine because it breaks down all the time. If you do this, you will have the kind of coffee that will help you have good ideas.

Thanks for teaching us how […]

NSA Spying On Normal Lawful Communications Just In Case We Might Do Evil

The genius of the NSA spying system is that it’s never in plain sight, though it’s something that we all may reasonably suspect is watching us at any moment. […]

The Internet Now Officially Sucks

Irregular Times has been online during three different decades now. We saw the Internet begin as a nerdy curiosity, and then emerge into an awesome tool that empowered its users. Those days are over. […]

Puke Different

Hey, Apple geniuses: Technology that brings users a lively feeling in their stomach may not be what they are hoping for in their smartphones. […]

Top 5 Internet Absurdities Of The Day

5. This morning, Fast Company reports that Facebook is now going to make it less difficult for people to buy things online by providing a way for people to route their financial interactions through Facebook, allowing Facebook to take a cut as a middleman. How many people are suffering from the difficulty of making a […]

5 Things You Might Wish You Never Found Out About This Morning

From the NSA to the Truth Fairy, here are the top 5 unfortunate stories in today’s news. […]