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Isolation: Where in America Do They Want You to Just Go Home?

A few days ago, I saw a bumper sticker in Central Maine that read, “Welcome to Maine… Now Go Home!” It didn’t take me too long to react emotionally to that statement; I hear some version of that sentiment almost every day living here in Maine. Whether it’s someone talking about what “real Mainers” would [...]

It’s Not the Flag That Offends Us

If it weren’t for the agree-with-me-or-leave-the-country attitude of people who aggressively flap flags around, we might think better of that flag. Note the order.

What a Difference a Period Makes

I came across the following bumper sticker today, and it set me to thinking:

I can’t find where on the web one might actually buy the bumper sticker, but it’s helped me appreciate the importance of the lowly period. Consider:

Or is this placement more appropriate?

Num num num.

[...]

A Kept Deity, on Entrails

Seen in a local parking lot:

I won’t deny that we’re all sitting on a load of processed poo. But which parts of America were made by guns? The little divots on golf balls? The nooks and crannies of breakfast? Maybe potholes. And raise your hand if you actually favor losing your guts. Would [...]

And You’re Driving?

How do your arms reach the parking break?

Life’s Too Short to Worry About Having an Ugly Boat

I saw this on the street just yesterday:

Oh, eyeroll. My response:

Mitt Romney Glad-Hands with Ally who says there can be No Religious Coexistence

They’re making mutual appearances, slapping each other on the back and shaking hands. In his run for President, Mitt Romney stopped by Port St. Lucie and had Congressman Allen West personally introduce him. The pair are public political allies.

Who does Mitt Romney ally himself with? Someone who thinks that the idea of religious coexistence [...]

1 Free Bernie Sanders Bumper Sticker Available to a Vermonter

I don’t know why (I live two states away from Vermont), but the Bernie Sanders for Senate campaign has sent me a Re-Elect Bernie bumper sticker:

It’s free to the first person in Vermont who leaves a comment to this post with an e-mail address — the public won’t see your e-mail; I’ll use [...]

The Audacity of Rope: Revenge Fantasies against an Uppity Black

No, I’m not going to give you a link to the web page selling that sticker: I don’t want to give it the Google juice it so desires. You can find it for sale, though, right alongside bumper stickers reading “Tea Party Militia,” “Romney: Don’t Quit on Mitt,” “Molon Labe!,” “WWJDD: What Would Jeff [...]

Old Obama and Anti-Republican Bumper Stickers Surged Back in September

We’re not rich or covertly backed by a conservative slush fund, so to help keep Irregular Times going we sell liberal and progressive bumper stickers. Back in March of this year, most of our best-selling stickers were centered around a particular policy theme, most often health care or the environment. But fast forward six months [...]

Top 10 Signs Your Friend is a Communist

If our top generals and television anchors only paid attention to the bumper stickers and buttons of the world, why, our nation wouldn’t be in such grave peril from the waves of Red Menace lapping at our shores. You think I jest? Open your window and lean your head outside. Can’t you hear the lapping, [...]