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Pope Francis Identifies God’s Specific Physical Qualities

In a remarkable reversal, the leader of the Roman Catholic Church has declared that the Christian god is not omnipotent after all. Rather, it seems that God can only move so fast.

Specifically, God is only capable of moving at the pace of 700 million miles per hour – no faster, and no slower than [...]

Florida Tea Party Candidate Promotes Postage Stamp Conspiracy Theory

Karl Balone could have met the baby Jesus simply by taking a short trip to his local post office himself, but like most Tea Party members, he wouldn’t take the trouble to do a little fact checking. [...]

The Bible And Jesus Are Waging A War On Christmas!

A wave of Christmas-hating degeneracy is sweeping over the world, and the American Family Association is documenting it. Jim has pointed out the AFA’s clear standard: If you don’t say Christmas, you’re a Christmas hater.

I know that the good Christian soldiers already have a lot of work on their agenda, given all the hateful [...]

PROOF that the American Family Association is Against Christmas

Yesterday I learned that the American Family Association has targeted certain corporations for being “Against Christmas.” Apparently, you’re “Marginal on Christmas” if you’re a corporation that “refers to Christmas infrequently, or in a single advertising medium, but not in others.” According to the AFA, a corporation is downright “Against Christmas” if it “may use ‘Christmas’ [...]

American Family Association: If You Don’t Talk About Christmas, You Hate Christmas

The American Family Association is at it again. Having bullied corporate retail chains across the country into inserting Christmas references into pet supply circulars and advertisements for drywall, the AFA is pushing the same chains to place even more references to Baby Jesus. Sending a new set of ratings to its diminishing band of followers, [...]

Pope Ratzinger And The Glitter Of The Christmas Season

This is the man who presumes to lecture the rest of the world about our need to see past the glitter? Has he looked in the mirror lately? [...]

Putting the Christ Back In Christmas With Handguns

For those preachy people who insist that guns are by nature incompatible with the real meaning of Christmas, I have some understanding and sympathy, recognizing that religious texts like the New Testament are open to a great deal of creative reinterpretation to suit the desires of particular religious followers. I do suggest, however, that advocates of non-violence recognize that there is much in Christianity that supports violence and weapons ownership, rather than repudiating. Perhaps the Christmas holiday, which tells a story prefiguring terrible torture, execution and vengeance, isn’t really the best foundation for a message of peace. [...]

Promoting The Spiritualism Of Christmas

Columnist Darlene Vann says she wants a Spiritualist Christmas. How many dead elves does she want to bring back at the seance? [...]

The War On Sacrificial Baby Day!

In order to meet the high expectations of Joan Clayton, I propose the following theological holiday greeting: “Happy Sacrificial Baby Day… For lo, a child is born, for no other purpose than to be tortured and executed on a sacrificial crucifix in a weird ceremony of blood that’s supposed to compensate for our own feelings of guilt.” [...]

Michele Bachmann Campaign Preacher Attacks Santa Claus

Michele Bachmann is proud to display Reverend Dale Visser’s political endorsement. Does she endorse Visser’s attack on Santa Claus? [...]

Tim Wildmon and the AFA Caught Bearing False Witness Again

American Family Association President Tim Wildmon got caught bearing false witness last summer. To make a political point, Wildmon wrote of Barack Obama in 2001 that “in that same radio interview he bemoaned the fact that the Warren Supreme Court ‘never entered into the issues of redistribution of wealth.’” This is a false accusation. The [...]