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Now it can be Told: What Was Recovered Bigfoot Eating?

Bigfoot was filled with road kill, reads the headline. How sad that we humans in our ever-encroaching ways have pushed the Bigfoot out of their natural habitat and taken away the grubs and berries on which they previously fed. With a nonzero instantaneous possibility that

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!