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Sarah Palin Uses Anagram Powers to Find God in the Constitution

Mediaite has tipped me off to the latest in Palinisms. In an interview with Bill O’Reilly, 2012 presidential contender Sarah Palin makes an attempt to set a new world record in sentence length:

Bill O’Reilly: So why do you think America is a Christian nation?

Sarah Palin: I have said all along that America is [...]

Palin Minus 367: Place in Hell for Women who Don’t Support Me

Just one year ago, Sarah Palin was still a Vice Presidential candidate, doing her darndest to scramble back up the pebbly slope to Victory. Her lunge 367 days ago:

There’s a place in Hell reserved for women who don’t support other women.

Are we in a better place today than we were last year?

Palinism of the Day: In Honor of the American Soldier, 1/2 Off Hot Dogs!

“How about in honor of the American soldier you quit making things up. And don’t underestimating the wisdom of the American people.” — Sarah Palin, July 26, 2009

That’s right: if you say nasty things about Sarah Palin, somewhere an American soldier cries.

Sarah Palin Explains Herself

Sarah Palin is explaining herself on Facebook. The Associated Press writes, “Palin’s spokeswoman, Meghan Stapleton, confirmed Palin wrote the entry.” Such disclosure is unnecessary; no ghostwriting consultant could have manufactured the glittering rhinestones that stud her essay:

On this Independence Day, I am so very proud of all those who have chosen to serve our [...]

Palinism of the Day: Mine, Baby, Mine!

“Mine, baby, mine!”

– Sarah Palin, Canton Ohio, November 2 2008

That about says it all.

Palinism of the Day: A Son Named Zamboni

“I always wanted a son named Zamboni.”

– Sarah Palin, October 2008

Palinism of the Day: Vice Presenatorident

KUSA NEWS: Governor, we’ve been trying to engage some local grade schoolers for the last few elections. We do a feature called “Questions from the Third Grade.”

Sarah Palin: Good.

KUSA: Brandon Garcia wants to know, “What does the Vice President do?”

Palin: Oh, that’s something that Piper would ask me, as a second grader, [...]

Palinism of the Day: The Election's Longest Sentence

I mean you set yourself up just to continually be mocked, you know so sometimes that doesn’t do any good, but what I have done in this campaign is in reaching out to the American voters through our rallies, through the one on ones, through the small meetings that we’ve had trying to get our [...]

Palinism of the Day: 79% of America is Fake and Hates America

“We believe that the best of America is in the small towns that we get to visit, and in the wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation. This is where we find the kindness and the [...]

Palinism of the Day: Completely Objective Email from the Governor on her Brother in Law

“Wooten is my brother-in-law, but this information is forwarded to you objectively, and I trust it is received and considered by you objectively.”

– Email from Governor Sarah Palin to Department of Public Safety Colonel Julia Grimes, August 10 2005

Palinism of the Day: Parsing on the High Road

But no, in John McCain’s mission here, in taking the high road, as you’re going to see too with a lot of unfair shots he has taken in this campaign with some of his opponents’ supporters, McCain and I taking the high road, being positive.

– Sarah Palin, October 11 2008