The other day as I was waiting with my kohlrabi to check out of the grocery line, I came across this colorful front-page headline in The Sun:
Exactly what about Nostradamus’ prophecies for Summer 2012 is forbidden?
Is Nostradamus himself forbidden? Well, golly, it’s not like he’s going to move anywhere, being dead and [...]
Self-proclaimed religious psychic visionary Linda Newkirk has issued her latest prophecy in an e-mail blast:
“Massive Quake/Volcanic Destruction Imminent!”
Oh dear! But I’m not quite convinced it’s time to go out and buy a lava-repellent helmet. In December 2009 Linda Newkirk issued a prophecy that within just a few months, amid a wave of drug [...]
If you still believe that Michele Bachmann is a reasonable choice to become President of the United States, and just ask yourself one simple question: If Michele Bachmann really believed that the world was about to end in 2006, why is she running for President in 2012? [...]
Pay attention, Harold Camping. When you make a prophecy of doom, never mention a date.
Over at my favorite entertainment site, Godlike Productions, Mark Brander displays the classic form:
New Madrid Quake To Cause Massive Inundation
Warnings about the New Madrid Fault are increasing in frequency and cannot be ignored. God is showing many people [...]
On May 21, 2011, the worldwide earthquake and mass disinterment of corpses predicted by Christian leader Harold Camping failed to materialize. No worries for Camping and the nationwide proselytizing organization he leads: Camping has simply replaced his old familyradio.com website with a new version, containing no reference to the non-apocalypse May 21. Whee! Down the [...]
May 21 2011 has come and gone, and despite the predictions of Christian preacher Harold Camping on his nationally broadcast Family Radio programs, there has been no Judgment Day. No earthquake bigger than mankind has ever seen. No billions of dead bodies spit out of the earth and onto the ground.
Christian media outlets [...]
In March of 2009, Christian evangelist David Wilkerson shared a message from the Holy Spirit, reiterating an old prophecy of flaming American doom that was “about to happen” thanks to (yes) the gays:
I am compelled by the Holy Spirit to send out an urgent message to all on our mailing list, and to friends [...]
The Apostolic Council of Prophetic Elders predicted cancer free zones in 2008. It never happened. [...]
If the Tea Party doesn’t develop into a genuine political party, we’ll know that the prophets of the Apostolic Council of Prophetic Elders are frauds, or that their god is a weakling not to be bothered with. [...]
The latest prophecy from Cindy Jacobs is that the Christian God is asking Americans to participate in “a forty day fast leading up to the election beginning on September 24th through election day November 2, 2010.” [...]
Over here on the East coast, there are only five hours left before the end of the 4th of July. That’s only five hours for the prediction of a U.S. government’s atomic bomb attack on one of its own cities either to come true or to be established as yet another in the long line [...]