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Supplement the FBI Crime Clock with a few Ticks of your Own

The FBI maintains an ominous website seemingly devoted to giving Americans the heebie-jeebies. It’s called The Crime Clock, and for the most recent year of published U.S. statistics (2009) it reads like this:

One murder every 34.5 minutes One forcible rape every 6.0 minutes One robbery every 1.3 minutes One aggravated assault every 39.1 [...]