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Gordon Klingenschmitt Milks the Fundamentalist Cash Cow

When politicians exploit religious bigotry in front of the cameras, if you look behind them you can see the shake, shake, shake of the changeboxes.

Earlier this month, Senator James Inhofe announced he would filibuster the confirmation of David Hamilton to the federal courts. Why? As a district judge for Southern Indiana, Hamilton had made […]

US Military Scamming Its Own Soldiers

High school seniors should not believe the promises of that military recruiter: It turns out that the military has been taking soldiers money and withholding it, cheating young Americans who have been to war. […]

Defying God, Humanity Delivers Me No Spatula

Three months ago, I delivered the Word of God: He, in all His Grace and Glory, has determined that I should have a new spatula. In pursuance of His Will, He declared to me that He would reward all those who sent a spatula to me with Eternal Life in Heaven. But He also issued […]

Juval Aviv Returns to U.S., Again Predicting Imminent Terrorist Attack

In 2005, self-professed “terrorism expert” Juval Aviv appeared on FOX News to issue a dire prediction based on his ironclad sources. A terrorist attack was:

Imminent and around the corner here in the United States. It could happen as soon as tomorrow, or it could happen in the next few months. Ninety days at the […]

For Real Blueberry Magic, Eat Blueberries

I can tell that progressive talk radio station WVKO is falling on hard times because it is replacing more and more of its programming with 30-minute infomercials. One of these infomercials promotes investment in gold. Another promotes a product called Blueberry Magic. Blueberry Magic is a very special preparation, you see, one that aids urinary […]

Moore Figures Out the Single Lawn Sign Dating System

Robert J. Moore started seeing “Single?” yard signs everywhere:

I seriously can’t take a ten minute drive without passing one of these signs. What fascinates me more, however, is that they never seem to last more than a few days in one spot. In most cases, I’ll see a “Single?” sign somewhere and the next […]

Where are the big nasty terrorists we’ve detained thanks to lost freedoms? And where are the plush rotating armchairs, big screen TVs and full length mirrors?

Where are they? Where are the big, nasty, evildoing terrorists that have been captured thanks to the passage of the Patriot Act, the Military Commissions Act, the Protect America Act and then the FISA Amendments Act? Each of these bills restricting our freedoms was passed with the promise that in exchange for surrendered freedoms, your […]