Bird Flu? That’s so 2005. Swine flu? Two years past the post and no more or less dangerous than regular flu. Satanic cults? Since 1987, they have gone completely underground, surfacing only on occasion to engage in ritualistic mass torture of algae. I know that
There’s also no credible, specific information that any such attacks are being planned by anybody in particular. Yet, the federal government is spending more than six billion dollars this year in efforts to prevent bioterrorist attacks.
I greeted the Mormon missionaries with a “Good morning! Our whole house has swine flu.”