Browse By

Tag Archives: swine flu

No Thumbnail

What Will Kill us All This Year?

Bird Flu? That’s so 2005. Swine flu? Two years past the post and no more or less dangerous than regular flu. Satanic cults? Since 1987, they have gone completely underground, surfacing only on occasion to engage in ritualistic mass torture of algae. I know that

No Thumbnail

H1N1 Swine Flu Cure: The Drill Treatment

In test groups, when the H1N1 drill was used in response to the earliest symptoms, all further flu symptoms were prevented. Test subjects who had full blown H1N1 swine flu that were treated with the H1N1 drill experienced almost instantaneous cessation of symptoms.

No Thumbnail

North Korea Is The New Swine Flu

We must not go to war. For one thing, we can’t go to war. Thanks to Barack Obama’s decision to keep Americans in Iraq with a slow withdrawal, and to add new American soldiers to the fighting in Afghanistan, we don’t have the sufficient military force for an invasion and occupation of North Korea.

No Thumbnail

Maybe It's Better To Get The Swine Flu Now

If you’re worried about swine flu killing you, then the rational thing to do seems to be to keep your face mask off, and get sick with this virus as soon as you can, before it has the chance to mutate into something nastier.

No Thumbnail

Urban Legend Flu

It is true that scientists have yet to confirm a case in which swine flu has been transmitted over the Internet, but with just one or two mutations, it might be possible.

No Thumbnail

The Pollution of Swine Flu

If we really care about preventing people from dying of respiratory illness, and we’re not just getting a sick thrill out of the feeling that we’re in a crisis, then we’ll start cutting back on activities that lead to the unhealthy air pollution that blankets most of our country.

Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?