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What Will Kill us All This Year?

Bird Flu? That’s so 2005.

Swine flu? Two years past the post and no more or less dangerous than regular flu.

Satanic cults? Since 1987, they have gone completely underground, surfacing only on occasion to engage in ritualistic mass torture of algae.

I know that this year’s color is honeysuckle pink, but I have no [...]

USA Badly Prepared For Threats That Aren’t That Big

There’s also no credible, specific information that any such attacks are being planned by anybody in particular. Yet, the federal government is spending more than six billion dollars this year in efforts to prevent bioterrorist attacks. [...]

Swine Flu Is The Missionary-Be-Gone Miracle Cure

I greeted the Mormon missionaries with a “Good morning! Our whole house has swine flu.” [...]

H1N1 Swine Flu Cure: The Drill Treatment

In test groups, when the H1N1 drill was used in response to the earliest symptoms, all further flu symptoms were prevented. Test subjects who had full blown H1N1 swine flu that were treated with the H1N1 drill experienced almost instantaneous cessation of symptoms. [...]

Entry For the H1N1 Public Service Ad Contest

So far in the United States, as of the end of last week, 40,617 people have caught the new strain of swine flu. Only 263 have died afterwards, and many of those people already had frail health. That’s less than a 1 percent fatality rate. [...]

North Korea Is The New Swine Flu

We must not go to war. For one thing, we can’t go to war. Thanks to Barack Obama’s decision to keep Americans in Iraq with a slow withdrawal, and to add new American soldiers to the fighting in Afghanistan, we don’t have the sufficient military force for an invasion and occupation of North Korea. [...]

Maybe It's Better To Get The Swine Flu Now

If you’re worried about swine flu killing you, then the rational thing to do seems to be to keep your face mask off, and get sick with this virus as soon as you can, before it has the chance to mutate into something nastier. [...]

Urban Legend Flu

It is true that scientists have yet to confirm a case in which swine flu has been transmitted over the Internet, but with just one or two mutations, it might be possible. [...]

The Pollution of Swine Flu

If we really care about preventing people from dying of respiratory illness, and we’re not just getting a sick thrill out of the feeling that we’re in a crisis, then we’ll start cutting back on activities that lead to the unhealthy air pollution that blankets most of our country. [...]

Barack Obama News Conference Watchathon and LiveBlog Reaction (4-29-09)

At 8:00 PM, you can watch could have watched the Barack Obama news conference right here, live, thanks to Hulu.

I’ll be liveblogging the news conference by updates to this post. Feel free to join me in reflection through the comments.

What I’m looking for:

discussion of U.S. torture policy and the role of [...]

News Flash: Swine Flu Could Kill Half a Million This Year, Experts Say

… if it is like the regular old garden variety flu. [...]