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Krampus Challenges Vlad The Impaler To Presidential Fiend Primary Election

Vlad the Impaler contests his legal status as a non-human fiend, given that, although he is now an undead creature of the night, he was born a human being. Both Krampus and Vlad the Impaler are expected to appear in the 6th Circuit Court tomorrow, where the legal status of Vlad the Impaler will be decided. [...]

Vlad The Impaler for President 2012

If we’re doing the Homeland Security thing, we need a leader who will do whatever it takes to protect the homeland – including lining up America’s impaled enemies on stakes outside the White House, and drinking the warm blood of terrorists as it surges out of their ripped necks. [...]